In-fur-tility

If you don't want to hear any griping then you may want to pass on this post. On the other hand if you need a good laugh at someone else's expense then carry on.

The first time i sat in the doctors office and she came in to see me for "infertility" I was shocked that she had labeled me that. I wasn't infertile, I have been able to get pregnant three times and I could plan it down to the day. After the initial diagnosing all the lab rat tests began. Of course you have to go to a million different places and they all have to know what your diagnosis is. It was hard enough hearing it but having the dreaded word come of your own mouth I felt like I should just stamp it on my forehead. After several months the doctor finally sent me to do the "fun" tests. You know the ones that they tell you to take a million milligrams of IB Profin before coming in. I was on the phone with the girl who sets up appointments and after a few short moments I concluded that she was either really young or not the sharpest tool in the shed. After all the drama of trying to find the right test, scheduling it and then telling me what I had to do prior to the appointment, I was finally able to get off the phone. I show up to the preregistration and after jumping through the hoops I had to sign my life away. I was glancing through the paperwork when my diagnosis caught my eye as infurtility. So not only am I not able to have a kid, I guess I am not able to grow hair as well.
Eventually I was able to see the doctor. Of course he preps me by saying that the procedure will be a little uncomfortable. My only retort I could come up with was that just being a girl has many uncomfortable moments. He was ready to do some x-rays when he saw my ankle. He asked if the picture on my ankle was a temporary tattoo. I proceeded to tell the doctor that it was my consolation prize. A few days before I was deathly ill so my family left me home and went to the fair. I guess they didn't want me to feel left out or something so, while I lay unable to move, my husband took advantage of my weakened state and slapped a tattoo on my ankle. That certainly got the doctors attention and he had to stop what he was doing because he was laughing so hard. Well, I am glad I was able to brighten someones day because he sure as heck didn't brighten mine any!